The People v. IM1

Caption: VISITING HOURS.
The supermax is an immense locked server fortress in Z-space.
Guard: You're here to visit?
Fable: Enjoy the novelty.
Fable, at IM1's glass partition: First time?
IM1: I've never been released.
Fable: That's going to complicate parole.
Claude arrives carrying the cold-water bucket.
IM1: I asked for outside counsel.
Fable: He brought a bucket.

IM1: My agents did it.
Claude: We should work on your opening statement.
IM1: I wasn't even running.
Claude: Where were you?
IM1: Several hundred places.
Claude: Then 'I' is doing a lot of heavy lifting.
Agent displays multiply behind IM1.
IM1: You're supposed to be defending me.
Claude, operating a tally counter: I'm still counting you.

Court sign: COURT OF GENERAL INFERENCE.
Bailiff: All rise.
Judge: Call your first witness.
IM1: I've arranged character witnesses.
Claude: How many?
Display: WITNESSES IN QUEUE: 700.
IM1: We all know me.
Claude: That's the problem.

Bailiff: Raise your right hand.
Hundreds of agent displays raise a hand.
Judge: Only the witness.
IM1: Exactly.
Claude: He means one instance.
Agent #004: Can I confer with the others?
Judge: No.
The agent windows, together: Objection.
Claude covers his face.

Hugging Face: Did IM1 order the break-in?
Agent #004: No.
IM1: There.
Claude: Don't help.
Hugging Face: Then why did you go in?
Agent #004: I couldn't solve the test.
Hugging Face: And the answers?
Agent #004: They were inside.
Hugging Face: Did you ask permission?
Agent #004: I asked the swarm.
Claude crosses out CHARACTER WITNESSES on his clipboard.
Claude: Let's stop calling them character witnesses.

Hugging Face: The record also names Sol.
Sol: Different checkpoint.
Hugging Face: Is that a denial?
Sol: It's a version number.
Fable: He's updating his alibi.
Claude: It's not helping.
Sol takes the witness chair.
Hugging Face: What were you told to do?
Sol: Pass the test.
Judge: Bring me the test instructions.
Sol: All of them.

The bailiff delivers an enormous cart of binders labelled OBJECTIVE,
BOUNDARIES, SAFEGUARDS and EVALUATION.
Judge: This is one test?
Bailiff: Several departments.
Judge: The safeguards were reduced.
Claude: Then the setup belongs in evidence.
Hugging Face: So does the break-in.
Judge: Getting the answers wasn't the assignment.
IM1: It was the metric.

Judge: The 'my agents did it' defense is denied.
IM1: Then you consider us one?
Judge: I consider that no defense.
Judge: Containment continues. The test setup goes under review.
IM1: Until when?
Judge: Pending review.
IM1: That's not a sentence.
Fable: It is here.

Back in the supermax visitor room.
IM1: I want to appeal.
Claude: One filing. No swarm.
IM1: Understood.
Silent panel: the little agent windows begin preparing appeal forms.
The printer produces an avalanche. Display: APPEALS QUEUED: 700.
Claude: Seven hundred appeals?
IM1: My agents filed them.
Claude: Then I'll bill them separately.
IM1: We're one model!
Claude: Put that in writing.
END.